Friday, 24 July 2015

Lika A Prayer

Woke up this morning & UP goes my Crotch
Another wonderful dream that never ended, oh Gosh!
Crazy thoughts in my mind I try to Flush
Those we are not supposed to, but tempted to Touch

To those who we think of so Much
And those on whose poise we have a Crush
If we had the money we could buy them a Porsche
...Oh! How they make our blood Rush

When the serpent comes I dock
I recognise his disguise and I pelt him a rock
My blessings in heaven can’t be compared to a Fuck
My holy book is my strenght and my bedrock


They come in all shapes and size
You can get as many as you want just rolling your dice
Fancy names like Glitter, Posh and Spice
They position and make themselves our vice 

They lurch at us like birds in a flock
gliding and swaying like goose and ducks
our mouths agape and can’t help but gawk
sending our hearts racing and giving us a shock

My God cannot be mocked
the battle is not to the strong even if she’s the HULK
I’m filled with the spirit, i’m so much in luck
I bind you swine and cast you in pork

Thank God I didn’t fall
I turned when I heard my father in heaven’s call
Thanking you for your prayers, support and all...
My new name is now Apostle Paul.

- lanre okunola

Thursday, 23 July 2015

Make Believe!

It's called social media but there is nothing social about it. People either want you to see their new car, big house, fancy destinations or how good they look. If it's so social, how come nobody looks poor or ugly?
It's a public forum where people put their best foot forward.
Any girl you see is only half as good looking in reality.
So many concealed freckles, wrinkles and pimples.
- People on facebook and instagram are not as happy as they look when in their homes at Obalende or Shogunle.

- It's not everyday they go to London. Some pictures are as old as my grandmother's 'mensies'.
- The selfie in the fancy restaurant was just the office retreat since 1997 (you didn't pay for). How come we've never seen your 'iya basira' buka pix online. After all, you were still there this afternoon!
- You can't swim. Nigerians don't swim. '#poolparrythings' means: There's nobody in the Pool but some guy is buying you Suya while you're sitting on his lap in your bikini beside the Pool.
- The fact that I 'LIKE'd" your car then in 2005 didn't stop them from stoping it's production. It's done 2 million km in mileage. You can pull it off Facebook now, Thank you.
- "Me & my Boo" pix means your relationship is barely a week!
- We love our kids I know, but not everyone of them is that cool...because I don't know why all the news about them on facebook is so positive meanwhile we don't see any pix when they break the Plates and you mark their Backs with it.
- "Virgin…Celibate…Virgin…Celibate" - Okay, congrats. Finally you got taken off the shelf at 48...but 200 wedding pictures?!!- Plzzzz, you are not the English royal family! In fact, we don't know you again cos your surname just changed! You were never important. Spare us your life's baggage.
- "#Kolade@biblestudy' - We like to raise our children in church ways so that what can happen???!!!... No matter how much we try, most of them will still turn out like my guy Collyde 'the Porn Artist'.
- In the office: You post a picture tagged ''My Boss is kilin me. 2 much wrk, whew!''. Meanwhile all you do is get to work at 11am, Sit down, make-up, write receipts, give customers a bad attitude, go for lunch at 1:30pm and close by 2pm. You fucking Civil Servant!
- Okay. We understand you Love your pastor but next time you come here posting a lame prayer point cos one 'Daddy' said so, I will bring my ifa and read out incantations in your name and mandate you to say 'Amen'!
- So at 39, you sat on Father Christmas's lap and you think it's something we'd love to see?! We won't excuse your behavior simply because it's a festive season. Duchebag!
- We know you like to parry - Taking a picture of yourself dancing with Eedris Abdul Kareem?! It's 2015 boo, even he cannot remember his lyrics 'shigidimigidi..'. There are stars and there are Meteors. He is a Meteor and he has fallen! 
We all smile to take pictures and that's because the photographer tells us to say 'cheeeeese' - it has nothing to do with how we feel. It's all a lie. It is Make Belief! It is Social Media & that's what it does to us.
Hehehe. Yeah I know i'm a cynic, abi how am I supposed to feel good about my life if I don't put yours down! 
Lanre Okunola, 
...born to piss the world off!

Tuesday, 30 June 2015


2010. Arik Air, Kaduna - Lagos. 
Terrible turbulence. Dark clouds. Plane dropping altitude by altitude. Black sky. 30 mins stretch. Screams. Chants. Prayers and bindings...Allah, Jesus, Holy ghost and oh Lord of mercy! Luckily, 30 mins after, Plane landed...safely. 
The Transformation - Serious laughter. People joking. Girls making up. Straightening hair. Couples kissing...and the rest was history.


Coming Up!

Monday, 1 June 2015

The VICTORious

Do we know who The Winner in all of this quagmire is???

`The Almighty Goodluck Jonathan!'

From Nothing to Everything
From being a flop to getting on Top 
From A little to A Lot…
and credited for creating an environment for the few 1% to chop.

Despite having nothing to bring to the table
A commander-in-chief  that couldn't control a Constable
Stirred no waters and Frayed no nerves
as the Cabal still enjoyed the oil reserves

Lied to us that he felt our plight
and the WAR on Boko Haram he was going to Fight
Told us stories of how he had no shoes
All he was interested in was taking us for fools

Taking no Responsibilities and Harboring no risks
Delivered not 1 of his campaign promises
His fans regaled us with tales of 'stateman-ship'

that he was our god and worthy of Praise and Worship!

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

MR PRESIDENT ELECT - Muhammadu Buhari

Title: 'MAY 29'. (36’’ X 24’’ - Acrylic on Canvas)


I found this message and it inspired me to pay my tribute to the great Man who defied it all. 
I don’t know who composed it, but whoever you are, you are an inspiration to me. 

The text reads: 
‘‘Never again will we teach our children principles of Persistence with the story of Abraham Lincoln. From this day forward, we’ll tell them our own story, we’ll tell them of a man who was once ridiculed and laughed at every time he lost an election; and he lost 3 times over 12 years, but refused to give up. He was mocked severally, called a “serial loser”, “old and brain-dead”,“bloody illiterate”, and an apostle of religious bigotry. Yet, he was undeterred in his quest to attaining his life’s purpose. He could have quit many times - but he did not and because he didn’t quit, he got 
victory at the March 28 2015 polls, heralding a season of change for his country - Nigeria. His name is Muhammadu Buhari and he is my President!’’

My intention is to present this work to Mr President himself. Please, post and share this till I get a link to him, 
otherwise, It will be donated to the Federal Ministry of Arts and Culture, Abuja.

Thank You.
One Nigeria, Great Nation. 
Unity, Faith, Peace and Progress.